The Mend Counseling Team offers our deepest sympathy to everyone affected by the flooding in central Texas. We are heartbroken to watch the devastation the flood has caused family, friends, and clients and stand beside you with empathy and prayers. As you navigate the waves of grief, Mend is here to support you in every way we can, today and in the days ahead.
Below are some ways to support your child through this difficult time.
1. Allow Child-Led Processing & Open Expression
As your child is ready, allow space for them to ask questions and process. Let them lead the conversation. It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers.
Provide alternative outlets for processing: drawing, writing, music, or creating a memory box with photos or mementos.
2. Validate Feelings
Acknowledge the loss, no matter how small or big the child views it. Saying, “I know this is really sad and confusing,” helps normalize emotions.
Let them know all grief is valid, whether they feel angry, sad, numb, or even guilty.
3. Use Age-Appropriate language and Resources
Make sure to speak about death concretely, avoiding euphemisms. “When you die, your heart stops and your body stops working. You don't eat or breathe.” It can be difficult for parents to talk like this but is important for children’s understanding.
For younger children, use children’s grief books (resources below) or rituals (like lighting a candle, prayer, or a farewell ceremony).
Older children might benefit from journaling or therapeutic worksheets (below and in our resources section) that help process complex emotions.
4. Maintain Routine & Predictability
Grief can disrupt sleep, appetite, and concentration. Consistency in daily life—meals, bath time, bedtime, etc.—is soothing.
Allow extra time in your schedule to accommodate when feelings arise so they can be given appropriate space without rushing.
5. Foster Social & Emotional Support
Family and trusted friends can listen, share memories, or show affection.
Allow them to spend time and connect with friends—grieving with peers creates community and understanding.
6. Model Healthy Coping
Parents experiencing their own grief: show vulnerability (“I miss them too”) and healthy strategies—talking, walking, crying.
Take care of yourself. As a caregiver, you are going through so much too. Accept support and give yourself space to process.
7. Watch for Warning Signs
Persistent withdrawal, irritability, declining sleep or expressing hopelessness means it’s time to seek help.
A mental health professional can offer tailored tools for healing.
8. Honor & Remember
Plant a tree, create an art piece, or contribute to a cause in the friend’s name—it gives kids a sense of legacy and purpose.
Having an ongoing ritual, like lighting a candle on birthdays or anniversaries, helps keep the memory alive.
Here are a few resources for you, your child, and teen:
Books:
The Invisible String by Patrice Karst
The Memory Box: A Book About Grief by Joanna Rowland
Dino Tales: Life Guides for Families When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death by Laurie Krasny Brown
Everywhere, Still: A Book about Loss, Grief, and the Way Love Continues by MH Clark
Why Do Things Die? by Katie Daynes
How Do We Tell the Children? Fourth Edition: A Step-by-Step Guide for Helping Children and Teens Cope When Someone Dies by Dan Schaefer and Christine Lyons
It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand by Megan Devine
Journal:
How I Feel: Grief Journal for Kids: Guided Prompts to Explore Your Feelings and Find Peace by Mia Roldan LCSW, LCDC
Workbook:
The Invisible String Workbook: Creative Activities to Comfort, Calm, and Connect by Patrice Karst and Dana Wyss
Healing Your Grieving Heart for Teens: 100 Practical Ideas by Alan D Wolfelt PhD
Social Media:
National Alliance For Children’s Grief: @childrengrieve
Sissy Goff: @sissygoff
Grief Kid: @griefkid
Links:
The Warm Place
https://www.thewarmplace.org/talking-children-tragedy/
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network
https://www.nctsn.org/what-is-child-trauma/trauma-types/traumatic-grief
