The holidays can stir up a wide range of emotions, including joy, gratitude, nostalgia, stress, or even grief. We often label these feelings as “good” or “bad,” but in reality, they’re all part of being human. One gentle way to meet whatever comes up is through the RAIN technique:
Recognize what is happening. Pause and notice what you are thinking, feeling, or how you are acting.
Allow the experience to be there just as it is, without trying to change or push it away. Give yourself permission without judgement, to simply be how you are.
Investigate with interest and care. Notice how your body feels, ask yourself "why do I feel this way?" "What am I believing in this moment?" and "What do I need right now?"
Nurture yourself with kindness and compassion. Use an affirmation, or offer yourself what you need at this moment.
This simple practice invites us to notice our inner experience without judgment.
Example: Missing a Family Member
Recognize the ache of missing them. I'm feeling disconnected and sad during this family tradition.
Allow it—give yourself permission to feel the grief without labeling it as negative.
Investigate gently—what’s beneath the sadness? What do I need right now?
Nurture—comfort yourself with kindness, perhaps lighting a candle, looking at a photo, or simply saying, “It’s okay to miss them." Take a break to do what you need in that moment.
By practicing RAIN, we learn to hold space for all that the holidays bring with compassion and curiosity. If this resonates, it may be something to gently explore in your own reflection or with your therapist.
- Sarah Watts, M.S., LPC, PMH-C
