Grief that deserves to be seen
Pregnancy Loss and Infant Loss Awareness Month is a time to acknowledge a reality that far too many families experience but too few people openly talk about.
Pregnancy and infant loss affect millions of families every year. While every journey is different, one thing remains true: every loss matters. Whether a loss occurs shortly after conception, during pregnancy, at birth, or within the first year of life, the love for that child is real, and so is the grief.
Pregnancy and Infant Loss by the Numbers
There are many different types of pregnancy and infant loss, each carrying its own unique heartbreak.
The statistics remind us just how common—and often invisible—these experiences are:
5 in 6 women will give birth.
1 in 5 women who give birth will experience postpartum depression or anxiety.
1 in 4 women will experience a miscarriage during their lifetime.
1 in 3 women who experience a miscarriage will struggle with depression or anxiety.
Approximately 1 in 125 women will experience infant loss during their lifetime.
More than 2 in 5 women who experience infant loss are at risk for depression or anxiety.
Behind every statistic is a family whose life has been forever changed.
The reality is that we all know someone who has experienced the loss of a pregnancy or a child—even if they've never shared their story.
The Grief No One Warns You About
It's easy to assume pregnancy loss or infant loss will never happen to you. But if it does, many parents describe feeling isolated, overwhelmed, and unsure whether their grief is "allowed."
Please hear this:
Every loss is valid. Every child is worthy of being remembered. Every parent's grief deserves compassion.
Grief after pregnancy or infant loss often extends far beyond the loss itself. You may find yourself mourning:
The memories you imagined creating during your first pregnancy.
What birthdays, holidays, and family traditions would have looked like.
Sharing your pregnancy news before you were ready.
Feeling carefree or excited about becoming pregnant again.
The milestones you won't get to witness.
The fear that others will stop saying your baby's name.
Packing away or returning clothes, gifts, or nursery items.
Wondering if you'll ever feel "normal" again.
Experiencing postpartum recovery while your arms ache for the baby who isn't there.
These losses are profound. They deserve space to be acknowledged.
Carrying Your Child Forward
One of the greatest misconceptions about grief is that healing means "moving on."
For parents who have experienced pregnancy or infant loss, healing rarely looks like leaving your child behind.
Instead, healing often means learning to carry them with you.
Their memory becomes woven into your story as you slowly learn to navigate life while honoring the love you will always have for them. Healing doesn't erase grief. It creates space for both joy and sorrow to exist together.
You Don't Have to Walk Through This Alone
The emotional impact of pregnancy and infant loss can last long after the physical healing has ended. Professional support can provide a safe place to process the complex emotions that often accompany loss.
You may benefit from counseling if you're struggling with:
Processing or grieving any type of pregnancy or infant loss.
Fear or nervousness about becoming pregnant again.
Anxiety during a pregnancy after loss.
Worries surrounding the birth of a healthy baby after a previous loss.
Questions or concerns about what postpartum may look like following a subsequent pregnancy.
At Mend Counseling, we believe no one should have to carry this grief alone.
Our perinatal specialist, Emma Porter, LPC, PMH-C, CPD, CBE, provides compassionate, evidence-based support for individuals and families navigating pregnancy loss, infant loss, pregnancy after loss, and postpartum healing.
If you're ready for support—or simply need someone who understands—please reach out.
Emma Porter, LPC, PMH-C, CPD, CBE
